Soccer, great sport! Big boy's up for his 4th season; Little G starts this summer too; can't wait to see her running around the field in the pack with the other 3 and 4 year olds LOL!
Forgive me if the mental image makes me chuckle....please, please, don't BECOME, though, okay? Yay for Sylvia, though-we don't DO soccer (come on, Idaho?), but we DO do baseball-Sam gets to do pitching machine this year, which will be a really nice change....but I am in no way and will completely rebel against ever becoming a soccer mom!
The official Urban Dictionary definition of soccer mom:
A usually white, middle-classed woman. She drives an SUV. Her kids are her "little angels" and are more important than anything or anyone else in the world and deserve to play game demos or do anything else more than everyone.
She doesn't let her "little angels" watch TV with "naughty words" such as crap, pussywillow, and pants.
Her kids aren't allowed to go on the internet because it's all about sex, raping little children, buying useless crap, and getting scammed.
She strictly enforces the ESRB ratings systems; by that I mean makes up her own: EC = 10 and under, E = 11 and up, T and above = "Not in my house" (Movies: PG and under = Only movies you can see).
Anything that doesn't say they're Christian is automatically Satanic; this includes 99.998% of music.
Her children participate in as many after-school activities as possible and are usually at day camp during the summer.
Soccer moms are usually seen screaming at people, getting into car accidents, and breaking copies of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and refusing to pay for them.
Well, I'm only partially white. Can middle-aged sub in for middle-class? No SUV, but that's really funny about the game demo - Riley's doing one tonight! I will not be trading my Hollywood Liberal license plate frame for a bumper sticker on my kid being an Honor Roll student. I hate those things! Well, no, I don't let them watch those kinds of shows; they get all that kind of entertainment strictly from me! The kids aren't allowed to go into the internet because Mommy's on the internet! ESRB? I don't even know what that means! (I suck as a soccer mom!) Yeah, it's kind of the opposite around here on the Christian part. About .002% of our household contains Christian-approved materials. 'Cuz I don't think my copy of The God Delusion, etc. is acceptable! Does Boys & Girls Club pick-up count? And they go there in the summer as well. Screaming at people? Sure! Car accidents, it's been a while - knock wood. We don't own a video game player so I see no need to steal Grand Theft Auto (although I like the irony there). I'll give myself a D+ on the soccer mom scale!
Oh, god, I am reading Huck's post htinking I don't even have a kid who PLAYS soccer and I am a damned soccer mom. Okay, I got the SUV. that;s it. Whew, maybe I will sutvuve! As an aside: My favorite bumper sticker that I actually REPLACED because some asshole (with one of thos honor students, I am sure) ripped it off-with her keys-says "I love my kid whether he is an honor student or not." THAT is me.
Welcome to the inner sanctum! We have a secret handshake and everything. I've been a soccer mom since my oldest (almost 19 and finishing her freshman/college year) was five. She still plays at UF on a couple of intramural teams. Great sport for girls! Good luck for a winning season (and that doesn't have to be 'games' won, but that she was a fun time playing).
10 comments:
Whooo Sylvia!!!
Heh - just don't put one of those soccer sticker things on your minivan!
Soccer, great sport! Big boy's up for his 4th season; Little G starts this summer too; can't wait to see her running around the field in the pack with the other 3 and 4 year olds LOL!
Have a great season!
Forgive me if the mental image makes me chuckle....please, please, don't BECOME, though, okay? Yay for Sylvia, though-we don't DO soccer (come on, Idaho?), but we DO do baseball-Sam gets to do pitching machine this year, which will be a really nice change....but I am in no way and will completely rebel against ever becoming a soccer mom!
The official Urban Dictionary definition of soccer mom:
A usually white, middle-classed woman. She drives an SUV. Her kids are her "little angels" and are more important than anything or anyone else in the world and deserve to play game demos or do anything else more than everyone.
She doesn't let her "little angels" watch TV with "naughty words" such as crap, pussywillow, and pants.
Her kids aren't allowed to go on the internet because it's all about sex, raping little children, buying useless crap, and getting scammed.
She strictly enforces the ESRB ratings systems; by that I mean makes up her own: EC = 10 and under, E = 11 and up, T and above = "Not in my house" (Movies: PG and under = Only movies you can see).
Anything that doesn't say they're Christian is automatically Satanic; this includes 99.998% of music.
Her children participate in as many after-school activities as possible and are usually at day camp during the summer.
Soccer moms are usually seen screaming at people, getting into car accidents, and breaking copies of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and refusing to pay for them.
:)
Well, I'm only partially white. Can middle-aged sub in for middle-class? No SUV, but that's really funny about the game demo - Riley's doing one tonight! I will not be trading my Hollywood Liberal license plate frame for a bumper sticker on my kid being an Honor Roll student. I hate those things!
Well, no, I don't let them watch those kinds of shows; they get all that kind of entertainment strictly from me!
The kids aren't allowed to go into the internet because Mommy's on the internet!
ESRB? I don't even know what that means! (I suck as a soccer mom!)
Yeah, it's kind of the opposite around here on the Christian part. About .002% of our household contains Christian-approved materials. 'Cuz I don't think my copy of The God Delusion, etc. is acceptable!
Does Boys & Girls Club pick-up count? And they go there in the summer as well.
Screaming at people? Sure! Car accidents, it's been a while - knock wood. We don't own a video game player so I see no need to steal Grand Theft Auto (although I like the irony there).
I'll give myself a D+ on the soccer mom scale!
oh congrats to Sylvia! And congrats on being crowned an offical soccer mom :)
Oh, god, I am reading Huck's post htinking I don't even have a kid who PLAYS soccer and I am a damned soccer mom. Okay, I got the SUV. that;s it. Whew, maybe I will sutvuve! As an aside: My favorite bumper sticker that I actually REPLACED because some asshole (with one of thos honor students, I am sure) ripped it off-with her keys-says "I love my kid whether he is an honor student or not." THAT is me.
Haha! **pointing and laughing at the soccer mom**
Don't worry, I still love you. ;)
P.S.
Congrats to Sylvia! You do know this is just another way she has found to torture you, right April??
Welcome to the inner sanctum! We have a secret handshake and everything. I've been a soccer mom since my oldest (almost 19 and finishing her freshman/college year) was five. She still plays at UF on a couple of intramural teams. Great sport for girls! Good luck for a winning season (and that doesn't have to be 'games' won, but that she was a fun time playing).
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