The 200th Post

Thanks to all of you who make my days better. My life is forever changed for the better for being a part of the blogging community. I'm considering going to BlogHer next year and having the chance to meet some of you in person. But only if Kori goes (no pressure).

Thanks to everyone who contributed questions. And here we go:

FreedomFirst asks: Do you think it would be easier to have boys, or are you feeling luckier with girls? Just curious. I think the general consensus my friends and I have reached is that boys may require more physical stamina when they're younger, while girls challenge you more intellectually and emotionally as they get older, but of course that's a massive generalization. I always wanted girls. The only reason I ever wanted a boy was when I was pregnant with Riley, we had a different name picked if she were a girl and Riley was to be the name if a boy. But I so loved the name that we named her Riley anyway :)

Tara R wants to know: Since you are such a fan of musicals, if your life story was made into a musical, what would it be called and what songs would be on the soundtrack? We actually had a little joke when I was in junior high that if my life were a soap opera it would be called "When Doves Cry." (See what I mean about girls :) But I don't think that's the musical. I think I'd have to do a play on the words of my 6-word meme, and call it "Finding My Way." I've talked a lot here before about my constant need for validation, which comes with trying to figure out whether or not I'm on the right track with things. But there's also a sense of optimism about it, which is one of the reasons I love musical theatre as well. I always do want to find the hope in a given situation. The songs? Give me a good belting show-stopper anyday! "So Much Better" from Legally Blonde and "Defying Gravity" from Wicked are still my current favorites for that. Anything that puts it all out there. But with power. Anything that celebrates this moment in time. (And, of course "You Oughta Know" by Alanis for whenever I'm really, really pissed.)

hotmamamia queries: If you were given $1 million dollars tomorrow, what would you do with it? Even though we just got settled in our new place, I'd still move again if I had that kind of money for a decent enough down payment, plus some in the bank for the inevitable repairs and such if I could buy our family a house. Riley longs for it. Sometimes, it really does hurt that I can't give her that. She would love a backyard to play in. An apartment-building courtyard is just not the same. Plus, the stability that comes with owning a home (which would NOT, I repeat NOT be bought with any type of adjustable rate!). It really wouldn't change my day to day. Obviously, I'd still have to work and all, but it would be nice to have a real home. With a washer and dryer, of course.

Sybil Law asked two questions:

What jobs / professions do you THINK your girls might be good at, when they're older. (And I know - we all want them to be happy and blah, blah - just play along! :) LOL - Sylvia always wants me to tell her what to study, and I refuse to answer her with anything specific because I just think she's too young to narrow her focus. I want her to experience as much as possible, and believe that she can do anything she sets her mind to if she works hard enough at it. But I have told her that she needs at least two degrees. A Bachelor's just ain't enough anymore. Having said all that, the most I can pin it down is to say that she will most likely do something that involves creativity and passion. She has a lot of that.

Riley is a problem-solver. She's also very compassionate and warm. I hope that she'll do something that uses those skills of hers, and will not only help others, but will feel a deep sense of accomplishment every day.


How do you picture your life in 15 years? (Which is lame but I like seeing the answers, anyway!) Oi vey! You know, I never thought I'd say this, considering what type of person I started out being, but I could see myself in my same department, doing the same type of work, and still feeling satisfied. But my kids will be gone, and I'll have more of a life outside of work, too. I would like to be involved in theatre again somehow, but not as a career, just as a hobby. I would also like to be doing something to support the single moms in the next generation.

Kori wants to know: If you could legitimately kill your ex-husband and know you wouldn't get caught, could/would you do it? just asking, jeez! :) Of course, Kori would ask this one :) As I told you in an email recently, my hate for him has reached such a deep level that I'm numb to it now. He can no longer make me cry - but I can still work up a good rant every now and then. But, no, I wouldn't personally kill him. Which doesn't mean I haven't wished him dead. I've just decided it would create even more problems with the girls idealizing him far more than he deserves (which Sylvia still does to some extent, since he's so absent). I actually just wish he would go to jail once and for all and serve a very, very long sentence. 10 years ought to do it.

pisceshanna asks: What's your sign? hehehe...like I was gonna ask any other questions. Aries - not too obvious, right? As if that's not bad enough, I've got a Scorpio rising.

She also asked: Have you always been a Californian? If not where else have you lived in the world? I was born in Cali myself. I was born behind the Orange Curtain, in Huntington Beach. Then we moved to Bakersfield, Cupertino, San Jose, Aptos, Capitola before settling at the condo in Los Angeles. I then lived in Vista with my sister for a few months while I was doing a show at the Lawrence Welk Dinner Theatre (don't laugh. It's how I got my Equity card). Then I moved to Hollywood (because every starving actor should at some point). After that, I lived on a cruise ship for 4 months, which traveled to the Caribbean, and then Alaska. Back on dry land, first back to the condo in L.A., then North Hollywood, then Pasadena, before heading back to the condo. Then the real moves began. First, Denver, CO, then back to CA (San Jose), then a cross-country move to Pittsburgh. Then Rochester, NY before coming back to Los Angeles, and starting in North Hollywood, then L.A., and now in Burbank.


Lynette wants to know: Do YOU believe in regret? Is there 1 thing that you've done that you can say you regret? My ex likes to say "regret sucks." Which explains why he'd make the same mistakes over and over again. But I still kind of agree with that. BS happens to all of us, and not even all of it is for us to learn a lesson. I always try to learn something, but I've also gone crazy trying to find answers when there simply is no there there. But I can't regret any of it.
I regret the little stuff, though. Stupid things I wish I never said. Getting caught talking to myself. Tripping over my own feet.

From Shamelessly Sassy: What is your favorite mistake? Smoking. Hands down. Should never have started it, waste of money, health effects, blah blah blah. But I love it. I reading the New Yorker outside at home while smoking (and getting 5 minutes away from the girls). I love going out with friends at work - some of whom I became very close to because of that time we spend together. I've quit trying to quit.


Single Working Mommy has lots of questions. 'Cause she knows, I've got all the answers :)

If you had three wishes... what would they be? 1. To never have to take the girls to the doctor/dentist/ER/urgent care again. I loathe that! 2. To die free and clear of debt, and 3. with something of value to leave my girls.

What is your favorite animal? Cat, in any form. (But I do like dogs, too; I just relate to cats better.)

What is your favorite color? Red. And black.

If you could do one job for the rest of your life, what would it be? (Money not an issue, etc.) Direct a non-profit organization that supports single parents, in any way, shape or fashion that they need.

What in this life are you most thankful for? My girls, of course. But relating to me? My brain for being able to keep up with them! So far.

GetSmartGal is almost as curious as SWM:

What is your favorite place/space in your home or outside of it? My smoking balcony.

If you had only one thing you could say or piece of advice you could pass on to your girls what would it be? To Sylvia: don't let your life be dictated by fear. Face the fear head on. You'll always be proud of yourself. To Riley: Don't be so hard on yourself! You're smart, funny, sweet, compassionate, and at your best when you believe in yourself.

Name one thing that no matter how many times you see it, hear it, or feel it you laugh uncontrollably? Full belly, liquid out of the nose, can't stop laughing! Camp Macamacawiya. The story's too long (and probably not nearly as funny) as I find it. But it still makes me smile after nearly 20 years.

Maria asks an interesting one (of course): What does a guy have to do to get into your pants? Some guys would say, not much! Others would see me as a total tease. They just don't realize they've turned me off, usually with some ignorant statement.

Natalie didn't really ask this as a 200-post question, but I told her I was going to answer it here: I'm curious as to what your stance is on that recent New Yorker cover, since you read it regularly and all. I *got* it, but what I find interesting is that so many people (on both sides) didn't get it at all. I think if it had not been the cover, it would've been fine. But the more time that has passed, the more I think that we should not allow the lowest form to decide what can and can not be on the cover of a decidedly liberal magazine! It's almost like letting that line of thinking win.

BusyDad, a fellow SoCal resident had this question: what's the best and worst part about living in LA? I am such a city girl. I love living here. I love driving through Griffith Park, I love "only in L.A." moments, like watching a movie in a theatre that happens to be a location in the movie I'm watching. I love knowing how to avoid certain freeways. I love that I could go to the beach one day, and the mountains the next (not that I ever do, you understand, but it's still possible). I love that my daughters get field trips to places like the Disney Concert Hall, and the Getty. I love going to landmarks like the Hollywood Bowl. I love that my parents are nearby. I love that I can be totally anonymous. The worst part? Definitely way too many people. Annoying people, bad driving people, stupid people, people just in my friggin' way!! People that think too much of themselves, people that try too hard. People that don't see just how big the world is around them. The cliche is that no one here has any depth. I don't believe that at all. But you do have to work to find the depth. People who complain about living in L.A. No one is forcing anyone to live here.

So there you have it. This post, I realize, is far too much text, but I'm totally following the lead of bloggers I love and admire that say, hey, my blog - I'll post what I want when I want. And no need to comment on the new look. I know, it's a boring template with no pizzazz, but I just wanted something simple and clean for the moment. I'm sure I'll get bored of it again in a few months, and switch it up a bit. So just deal!

I do have a few awards to give out, and that'll be soon.

Again, many many thanks for such a warm welcome you've all given to me! I feel so lucky to know you and be one of you.