Children and the Industry

[This post is going to jump around a bit so bear with me, please.]

FreedomFirst responded to my previous post about Julianne Moore's comments on sheltering her kids with this comment:

Given the nature of her line of work, I can excuse that way of thinking more in her than I might in others. If I were in her shoes, I might want to
shelter my kids from the hectic and pressured scene of the film industry.

[FF: I hope you're not offended by my quoting you here. You inspired me!]

Okay, I know, I know, we all hear about the kids in show business who get mixed up in drugs and are self-centered and otherwise clueless. No, I can't blame anyone either from not wanting their kids to be that.

I first moved to L.A. back when I was in junior high for the purpose of attending the Los Angeles County High School for the Arts. By some fluke, I had an agent within the first few months of living here, and I had my SAG and AFTRA cards before I started high school. Now, I certainly wasn't in the league of a Lindsay Lohan or anything, but I was surrounded by artistic people.

I'd like to debunk a few myths about both artistic people, and children being raised in Los Angeles.

I went to junior high in El Sereno, which is considered the northernmost part of East L.A. Even being half-Mexican, I was one of the whitest kids there. While it was mostly a Hispanic population, we also had at least a token showing of nearly every minority group. We may have hung out in "like groups" at lunch and recess, but in class, I didn't see any major racial tensions. Our teachers encouraged us to talk about our differences in culture and points of view. I think it would be extremely difficult to hold onto prejudices based on race when surrounded by such diversity. And I think one good thing to come out of all the moving the girls and I have done is they too embrace diversity, and, more importantly, can adapt to most situations.

It's not just the racial diversity that makes me glad that I raise my children in Los Angeles, but also the diversity in the people and landscapes and opportunities.

My girls have spent time in Griffith Park, in Hollywood, in East L.A., downtown L.A., the Valley, the beaches. On field trips, they've gone to the Getty Museum, the California Science Museum, the Disney Concert Hall, the Hollywood Bowl, a DVD premiere party, a Dodgers game, a house in the Hollywood Hills. Sylvia alone has met Mayor Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Burbank, Jason Lee, Jane Goodall, actors in Wicked, and LA Symphony musicians. There's not many places that can offer such a diversity of experiences.

Now, I haven't gotten her in the industry as I was, because (and don't tell her this) I'm not real sure she can handle the emotional highs and lows that come with it. I may have been in touch with my emotions as a child, but I also didn't have the trauma of an absent father haunting me either. Maybe, if her first 6 years hadn't been so hectic, I would consider it, but I don't think it's a healthy environment for her at this point in time.

And maybe that's what goes wrong with some of the children in show business. I know it seems like it's all of them, but it's really not. Anne Hathaway, for example, has done a fine job of maturing from the Disney teen of Princess Diaries to a mature actress. There are many, many more examples of children who came out of it all right, and some went on to do other things. That's just not as good headline copy as the ones who get arrested or seem unable to drive a car without incident.

I don't want to say all the fault lies with the parents, but it certainly starts there. Maybe they start off okay, and then the parents relax a little bit, and that's where the trouble starts. Maybe they're just part of the general population that can't handle life. I know enough of you know about not only my ex, but people in your own lives who have fallen apart; we just don't see them in the news. I don't know exactly why that happens, but I also think that we are enough of individuals that it's not one thing that does it. In other words, I don't think it's "the business."

I went to my high school reunion a few years ago. I was nervous (aren't we all?) about going. I hadn't "made it." I was a single mom. What did I have to brag about? Was it going to be clique-y?

And then I got there, and I remembered what my high school was like. Everyone was great. It was that safe haven that I'd nearly forgotten I ever had.

I think LACHSA grounded me. It was a place where we all felt supported. Sure, there were your usual squabbles and such, but the negative was quickly replaced by hugs and forgiveness. I'd say only maybe 20% were still in the industry professionally, but we'd taken the lessons of teamwork and our love of the arts (and thereby humanity) wherever we went.

I ran into a friend of mine tonight from my theatre days. We were, within minutes, telling each other our happiest and our scariest thoughts. There was little pretense in this old friendship.

Artistic people have a reputation of being flaky egocentrics. There is no harder bottom line in any business than an opening night. Come show time, that curtain goes up. Next to raising children, it's the most disciplined work I've ever done. And nothing prepared me better to deal with the everyday challenges of raising children than having to cover for mistakes on stage. They both demand the most of yourself you have to give.

I would be proud to have Sylvia to go to high school at my alma mater. Now, if she doesn't want that, that's okay, too. But, frankly, I would prefer her to be in a setting that I know will challenge her and support her, and I know she'd get that at LACHSA.

It's easy to focus on the smog, the insecure, and the stereotypes of both Los Angeles and show business. It's so much more fulfilling, though, to live deep within it, and overcome those obstacles. (And a movie set is pretty fun to be around. It's worth it for the food at Craft Services alone!)