Weird, Spooky Thought

Julie asked about Xmas traditions. All of our traditions are wrapped up in my parents. It's SO important to my mother that we're all together on that day. When we lived in the East, we only made it to L.A. one year for Christmas. That was my favorite one in all my years living there because there was no snow :) and it was a gorgeous 80 degrees. It was awesome.

Christmases in L.A. are always spent at my parents' house. My kids are usually over there on Xmas Eve because my parents watch them during their winter break so I can save money. So my dad bakes cookies with the girls for Santa (even though my kids know the truth) and both my parents endure the Chipmunks holiday cd (hey - it's not MY fault they bought it) until I get there. Then we eat tamales while we switch the music to something I can bear, and the girls get to open 2 presents each - because they know that one of them will be pjs.

We get the kids up to bed as soon as we can, and my parents and I hit the alcohol. Wine, hot toddies, whatever. We wait until we're sure the kids are asleep, and then finish wrapping, and setting out presents. My dad eats the cookie and drinks the milk (okay, sometimes I help with the cookies). We drink and talk and eventually make our way up to bed.

The girls are up first, of course. My dad or I make the coffee, and we put on the same Xmas album we had when my sister and I were growing up. I insist upon it, actually.

The presents are opened, and then my dad makes popovers. We switched from a crown roast Xmas dinner to a popover breakfast a few years ago. My sister and her family usually comes up by the time the popovers are ready, and there is more unwrapping to be done. We hang out a bit, and then my sister and her family leave to go to her husband's family's house, and the girls and I pack up and go home to relax the rest of the afternoon and evening.

There have been many years when frankly, I'd rather skip the whole thing. I've had some rough holiday seasons in the past. I get stressed about money and obsess about it all, and it'd just be nice to just take the day off. (And you all know me well enough by now to know that ours is a purely secular - oh, let's face commercial - celebration of the day.)

But I always go through with it, and guess what? It's not for the kids. Sometimes I think my kids could do without expecting presents twice a year. Sometimes I think my kids would have a better day feeding the homeless. Sometimes I think my kids would most appreciate just spending quality time together. No, it's not for them that I continue to celebrate.

It's for my parents. It really does mean a lot to both of them to have us here, and to celebrate with us. They love spoiling the girls, and seeing them rejoice in it. They love having all of the family together, and I could never disappoint them by not being there ever again.

But what happens when they're gone? (This is where the "weird, spooky" part comes in.) What would Xmas be if my dad isn't there to make the cookies and popovers? Or my mom isn't there to stoke the fire and make pretty ribbons? And take pictures and make photo albums of it all?

They're not perfect, and we certainly have our share of problems. We disagree on a lot of things, so there's a lot we just don't talk about anymore.

But even with all of that, I still can't picture a Christmas without them.