And the First Post of 2012

I have six grocery bags full of books to give away, and I've thrown out a good half-dozen kitchen-sized trash bags of stuff! I'm afraid that's just in the living room. There's still the bedrooms to go.

Having spent most of my adult life moving on average once a year, I've discovered something about staying settled for 3+ years. I haven't had that opportunity to go through everything due to a pending move. I had to find some other impetus to go through stuff so I used New Year's.

One of the things I haven't decluttered, ironically, are all my books on decluttering. While I accept that I can't change the fact that I'm not a born organized type person, I also accept that I need help. I hope that just having the books remind me to keep this up throughout the year.

With both of the girls out of school, all this quality time together has brought back sibling rivalry. Oh, joy.

Last night, I was telling Riley the phrase I use over and over in this blog, but not so much with the girls. I told her that anger is like any other emotion: with a beginning, a middle and an end. She responded that she was annoyed when I started talking, but she knows it'll go away as soon as I stop. Oh, yeah, she's a tween!

Sylvia has turned even more into a mini-me. She's currently obsessed with Oklahoma! and Gypsy, two musicals that I must've watched a hundred times when I was a kid.

My current musical obsession is [title of show]. My friend told me about this show a while ago, but I just got around to downloading it, and love almost every song, but most especially, Die Vampire Die! The vampires are the things and people that try to kill our creative spirit.

There's this wonderful section in that song where they talk about the little voice in our head that tells us we're not good enough, and other soul-crushing thoughts. She says (paraphrasing), "why is it that if someone said that to me in a subway station, I'd think they were a deranged idiot, but if it's the voice in my head, I think it's the voice of reason?" Such a great reminder that just because it's in our head doesn't make it right. After all, isn't that where our fears lie? To give in and give up is to let that deranged idiot Fear win.

It occurs to me that maybe I've been letting Fear win a little when it comes to this blog. Oh, sure, I have the excuses of less time, older kids, but truthfully, I have put myself out here less and less. I didn't blog about the audition I blew, or the scholastic struggles I had with Sylvia this first semester of her high school career. And maybe I wouldn't have blown the audition or allowed Sylvia to struggle as long as I did if I held myself more accountable here.

I hate resolutions, but all the more reason to make one. I resolve to blog more about the vampires this year.